, ,


It all began on a Friday morning when he awoke after only two hours sleep, despite his sedative, when he had a dream so vivid and real that he didn’t know if it had actually occurred or not. This caused him great anxiety and he spent the rest of the day shaking and trying to work out the authenticity of the dream.

The following morning the same thing happened but he noticed that his anxiety level wass increasing. It took him most of the day to go to the nearby shop to buy cigarettes.. Whilst there, he was shaking so much that he spilled his change on the floor. The shop assistant, who he knew well, asked if he was okay. All that he could manage in response was “I’m not sure.” She knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t well.

He spent the majority of that Saturday shakily working on his latest novel. Progress was slow as his shaky hands hampered his typing and he was still perplexed by the vivid dreams. Of the cigarettes that he had purchased he only smoked one. His hands were too shaky to light one let alone smoke it.

Sunday morning started the same way but he felt a little better by the afternoon. It wasn’t until later that evening when he was watching the final of the Australian Open tennis that he stood up to go to the toilet. He felt incredibly dizzy; so much so that he had to put both hands on the wall to stop himself from falling over. He also noticed that when he walked, his movements were stiff and jerky. So dizzy was he that he had to sit down to urinate.

On returning to the living room he had no idea what he was doing watching tennis or indeed what match it was.

The following day started the same as the last few except by now he had developed major muscle tremors and his mind was racing. By late morning he decided to lay down for a while. He fell asleep and awoke after yet another vivid dream. This dream was so vivid that he thought a friend was in his house so he called out for him. It took him an hour to realise that he was getting his dreams confused with reality again. Now he was afraid to close his eyes for fear of further fear and confusion.

Fortunately he had an appointment with his doctor in two days. His doctor was shocked by what he saw and immediately prescribed him valium. The valium worked within two hours and he remains on it to this day, even though it is recommended for short term use only.

Once he was feeling better and with the benefit of hindsight he could only put down the recent ‘incident’ down to an accumulation of small stressors finally catching up with him. He remains vigilant with regard to not letting this happen again.

That ‘he’ is me.