Bumps in the night don’t bother me.
I have a rocket launcher next to my bed.
That’s a lie.
I have a baseball bat next to my bed.
I don’t know why I have a baseball bat by my bed.
I’ve never played baseball in my life.
I wouldn’t know a home run
From a foul ball.
If someone entered my house at night
When I had gathered my wits
I would have no option but to swing the bat at them
With as much force as I could muster.
Don’t get me wrong.
I am not a violent person by any means
But if someone were to invade my home
I shudder to think what I would be capable of.
Night time is a time for sleeping.
Not for breaking into peoples houses
And certainly not for baseball bats
Or rocket launchers.